Today’s topic is a hard one for me. I still feel guilty. I still wish I would have pushed harder. Let me preface this post with this, trust your mom instinct. If you think something is wrong, fight for your kid. Get answers.
Colton, our baby, was born just two days before our 10th wedding anniversary. He was a perfect, chubby 8 pounds of love (by far our biggest baby). He was so loved from the moment he made his grand entrance. Imagine being the youngest of six. There’s a lot of love just dying to get their hands on you. For all of my birthing hospital stays, Chuck stayed with me. When Colton was born, I sent Chuck home at night so the kids could sleep in their own beds. I enjoyed having time to just snuggle my sweet, new baby.
Colton had his first hearing screening in the hospital. He failed. We were told that it wasn’t unusual for newborns to fail, and they would just redo the test later. We didn’t think much of it. We trusted they knew, but for something that happens often, he was the first of our six to fail. They redid his test before we left the hospital, and we were told he passed. Once again, we took it as a pass and took home our sweet, perfect baby.
Colton developed normally, like all his siblings before him. He rolled over early, crawled around 6 months, walked by 11 months. He was just like his siblings in every way except one. Colton rarely babbled as most babies do. I didn’t start thinking much about it until he turned 1. When I took him to the pediatrician for his 1 year appointment, I mentioned that he wasn’t saying any words. She scoffed a bit at my over zealousness for my one year old. She told me he was the youngest of six and had no reason to talk. Everyone just does everything for him. She also said that I was comparing him to Dustin who talked very early. I took her word for it, and decided he would just come to talking on his own.
By the time his 18 month appointment came around, he still wasn’t talking. Once again I mentioned it. This time I was more concerned, I was definitely at the point of knowing something wasn’t right. Once again, she dismissed my concerns with the same answers – he’s the youngest, you’re comparing him. Once again, I took her word for it.
When his 2 year appointment came around, he still wasn’t talking. He had a few words, that our family knew what he meant, but those words were unintelligible to those outside our family. I explained that to his doctor, and she said that as long as we knew what he was saying, he was fine.
Around 2 1/2, Chuck started wondering about his speech too. At his next appointment, Chuck told me to be forceful and demand more. I was taking him in for his 5th ear infection of the year. She still didn’t seem concerned about his speech, but offered to refer him for a hearing screening to put my mind at ease.
Texas Children’s called me to set up his appointment. Their next available was 6 months away! I didn’t want to wait that long, so I set him up with another ENT in the area. I took him to the appointment. The first test they do is similar to the newborn hearing test. Colton was not having any of them putting things in his ears. The lady couldn’t really get a reading. She said it didn’t look like his ear drums were moving, but she wasn’t certain since he was moving so much. She then took him into a sound proof room to play a game. In this game, he was suppose to put a block in the bucket every time he heard a sound. Colton was not understanding what she was wanting and just kept putting the blocks in the bucket. The lady got frustrated and said to try to come back in 6 months to retest.
I decided to wait on the Texas Children’s appointment since they were better equipped to handle children. When that appointment came around, Colton was just a few days from being 3 1/2. Chuck came with me for this appointment to make sure I wasn’t once again dismissed. At this appointment, we started with the same newborn hearing test. This tech was so good with him. She was able to distract him for the test, which he completely failed. There was no movement on his ear drums. She then tried the game in the sound proof room. Once again, Colton did not understand. This lady was so patient. She could see the concern on our faces. We were only suppose to be there for the hearing test, but she got the front desk to squeeze us in with an ENT that day.
About an hour later, we had our first appointment with Dr. Jill Beck. She came in, talked with us about Colton and our concerns, and then examined Colton. When she looked in his ears, she told us right away that she knew why he wasn’t talking. His ears were full of fluid. She said from the color of it, the fluid was very old and had been in there for a long time. Our sweet, perfect boy had spent most of his life hearing underwater. I’m not sure why we were never told this in his many appointments for ear infections, but we were happy for an answer. She scheduled us for ear tubes the following week.
The surgery at Texas Children’s went perfectly. Chuck and I waited in a room while they took him back. After the surgery, Dr. Beck came in and told us that she had never seen so much fluid in a kid’s ear before. She said it just kept coming out. She promised us that we would notice a significant change and immediately.
I’ll never forget coming home from the hospital and making Colton lunch. I made him a sandwich, cut up some apples, and gave him some chips. As he was sitting there crunching his chips, he kept looking around like what is that sound. He had never heard the sound of his own food crunching! It was an amazing thing to watch. I cried. My son was finally in a world of hearing. I remember the first time I realized that he finally knew his name. He used to ignore us when we called him. I guess I would too. Have you ever heard what Colton sounds like under water?
The next month, he started speech therapy. He’s been doing speech therapy for about 6 months now. His speech is coming along, but he is still severely behind (I’d say his speech is probably on course with a 2 1/2 year old). He started pre-k last month. It’s been amazing how many new words he is learning each week just being around others his age.
It has been such a long road, but I finally feel like we are making progress with his speech. There are still days when I cry and wonder where he could be if I had pushed harder when he was 1 1/2. It’s hard to see other kids his age talk circles around him. I know he will catch up, and until then, I will wait.
This video was hard for me to post, but I feel it is necessary. I have never posted a video of Colton talking on any form of social media. The video below is of him working on the Lord’s Prayer.
I understand that writing this post would be difficult for you, but I appreciate it. Frankly, I have often wondered how something that serious could be overlooked by loving parents such as you are. Your story is a good reminder to all of us not to rely on “experts” too much. I had a rather similar experience with my own health some years ago. I was worried about some symptoms, but I was assured by everyone I consulted – family, friends, even doctors – not to worry about it. “You’re just getting older.” Finally one day I couldn’t bear it any longer and just walked into my doctor’s office and proceeded to start to cry all over the front desk. Luckily he was an old-fashioned doctor who really cared about his patients, and I was put into a back room with a box of Kleenex until he could squeeze in a few minutes for me. When he heard my story, he immediately made an appointment with a specialist. The specialist discovered a definite problem, the problem was treated, and all was well. But if I had not listened to everyone except myself I would have been spared a LOT of suffering. I’m sure Colton will catch up now his problem has been properly identified and dealt with. (I assume you are no longer going to the doctor who kept telling you nothing was wrong!)
After this experience, we’ve come to the realization that we know more about our kids than the doctor. It’s been a tough lesson to learn. I don’t really feel like it was ever overlooked. I just feel like I was overlooked. I knew there was a problem, it just took a long time to get a doctor to listen to me. A similar thing happened with Saydee and her eyes (I’ll blog about that another time). That one threw us for a loop. We had no idea she could hardly see. She was reading already! It was such a blow. No two kids are the same, that’s for sure.
“No two kids are the same, that’s for sure.” Definitely! Different from the very beginning!
Thank you for sharing. ❤️ I have been in this same place, and I know it’s hard for a Mama’s heart to think that we could be doing more. All the things Kate has gone through with her speech has taught me to be so thankful for those abilities. She just turned 5 and I still celebrate every day the new words she tells me. ❤️ The waiting and watching everyone else move forward is very difficult, but the extra work with our kiddos creates a very special bond and I love that! You are a wonderful Mama and you are doing a wonderful job ❤️
Thank you for your encouragement, Kayla. You are so right that it creates such a beautiful bond. Your Kate is so beautiful and so amazing, just like her mama. <3
Jacquee !! You best mom I know from the past . You are doing wonderful job with this little boy ~ God has bless you with wonderful family .
Thank you, Mrs. Tina. It’s not always easy, and I constantly second guess myself. I just hope that they grow to love me as much as your girls love you. <3